“my bed” by Divya Chhotani

Author’s note: spring is almost in full swing! the weather is getting bigger, the sun is shining brighter, serotonin levels are high, and it’s time for amazing festivities ahead. spring is also something that can signify the start of new beginnings, where things bloom without interruption, where you can let your imagination roam free. it’s when walking around in the breezy cold turns to stop every five minutes to admire your surroundings and the new flowers that bloom alongside the sidewalk. it’s also remembering that although times are tough, flowers still grow in the cracks and crevices of the sidewalk and are just as strong without support, it’s all strength from within. times have definitely been uncertain, it’s been a year since we had to wear masks, a year of just staying inside and dwelling on the past or having FOMO (fear of missing out). the one thing that’s been constant is that we’re doing this together. even if sometimes you feel alone, I assure you you aren’t at all. though times may be difficult, having some hope and faith can go a long way. this is a time to cultivate new relationships and friendships, time to take that step and do things you never imagined you could do. I believe in you so so much, regardless of how you feel about where you are, and if you feel at an all-time high or low, I love you and I care for you. you have so much to live for. thank you for pushing through this past year, you did that… nobody else did but you. congratulations on surviving one of the roughest times probably in our life. you matter and you are loved. 

“my bed”

my bed is something that remains constant, sitting in my room waiting for me to fall into it
my bed holds me and keeps me safe in a home where I’m blinded by the noise
my bed embraces me like an old friend who I haven’t seen in a while but we strike up a conversation
we talk about my dreams and ambitions and how I fell from a tree in the second grade 
my tears staining pillowcase after pillowcase whenever I feel like the world is too much
I know my bed will always be there for me
it’s like mother nature, the one that I come from, It swallows me in and keeps me warm in the middle of the night
my bedrocks me to sleep like a baby who’s an insomniac, driving her parent’s crazy
but my bed also has legs that uplift me and hold me up when my body feels weak and feeble
it holds me like a coffin when I feel dead inside, holding my soulless body, my skeleton
my bed is something that I can fall into when I’m feeling bored and want to rest my eyes and escape into my dream world
it’s something that has a hold over me it’s like my grave where I just lay still except I’m breathing
struggling to find answers between the sheets in between sips of wine
drowning out my thoughts, intoxicated and free
my bed is so fuzzy and is like my jungle of softness where I can discover myself every night
I can stay afloat on my bed because my bed won’t swallow me whole and spit me into an environment I’m not prepared for
on nights like these, where I cry and cry and think about where I went wrong
with my AirPods in, I can escape into my world and drown it out with the sounds of others going through the same things I have, letting me know I’m not alone, telling me I’m here to stay
I’m here to breathe and run around late at night
to feel the wind on my face in the cold months of December and to fall in love a little more and more every day with the thoughts of you and i
I’m here to go to gas stations and cross country and roam the four corners and go far and wide
I’m here to stay, in my bed
Thinking about where I went wrong in my past yet not realizing I’m right where I’m supposed to be
turning my head to see not just a notification on my phone but a beautiful angel next to me
lost in duvets and falling into hotel beds
pillow talk and escapades
I’m here on this earth to go far and wide with you by my side
but for right now, my bed is collecting my thoughts in my pillow of dreams
where I can dream big without anybody shooting my dreams down
in my sea of dreams, I can swim and explore
where I want to go and how I’m going to get there
I’m on the right track and for now, my bed knows my pain and sorrow 
until I turn my head tomorrow and look at the sky and smile
look at the flowers blossoming and say hi to what I have in store 
in the future or even tomorrow
my pillowcase stained with past tears one day and flipping the pillow to get the colder side the next day
turning my head to seeing you 
my happy place, my home

Overachiever Magazine was started by Rehana Paul in October of 2018 to give a platform to all Asian women, non-binary people, and other gender minorities.

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