“the light at the end of the tunnel” by Divya Chhotani

As part of the February II Issue, we are featuring a piece by Divya Chhotani called “the light at the end of the tunnel.”

author’s note: relationships can be seen as a garden. It’s where each relationship in your life is a flower and you’re the gardener with the tools to nurture and grow each relationship. the soil can be seen as a sort of foundational base for things to grow and mature at their own pace. if it’s a friendship or a relationship it’s up to each one of us whether we want to grow and essentially “water” these relationships to see it blossom or wither until a new season comes along. It’s up to you to figure out what you want and what you stand for and for who matches with your values or even who brings you joy. It’s a huge thing when it comes to friendship to be able to hear your friends out and to respect them and to uplift them during hard times instead of neglect or jealousy settling in. to me friendships are something very precious where your friends are like gold and you must protect them and surround them with a loving heart and environment. when it comes to relationships, it’s unfortunate that many people get into toxic relationships and cycles, I’ve been in my own relationship that was detrimental to my mental health and always left me questioning my worth and if I was worthy of love and to be loved. My girlfriend right now really changed that for me. She supports me even when things are bad and when things don’t go my way she’s always supportive and she shows me every single day how loved I am and to enjoy every single moment and to just be alive. She strengthens me and builds me up and is an amazing support system for me. Even though fights are something inevitable in relationships, sometimes the weather is rainy too and it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but we make the most of it. Communication is really key in friendships and relationships to keep the ship afloat even in its darkest hours. I wrote this poem how about healthy relationships and healthy relationships with oneself and yes, this is dedicated to her… my always and forever. 

the light at the end of the tunnel

it’s in the way she walks and in the way she talks
the way the words just spill out of her mouth like honey
the way she paints every syllable with her sweet voice making me melt into a million pieces
it’s the way that she could be halfway across the world and I know that my morning starts with her and how she’s my goodnight
how she holds my hand and dances in my mind doing pirouettes and making my head spin round and round, intoxicated by her perfume and her luscious lips
it’s the way she calms me down whenever I feel like I’m a deadly typhoon of emotions ready to spill my tears and the way she lets me be myself
helping me break through barriers and helping me undo all my past wrongdoings and mistakes, realizing that she’s the one
she’s my happy even when things aren’t going the way I want them to go
“thing’s aren’t always meant to work out”
“thing’s change but you’re stronger than this”
the words I’ve been dying to hear from someone who loves and adores me when all I’ve ever known has been betrayal and two-sided stories
the only person who accepts my flaws and learned my past not to hurt me to better understand what I need and how she can help me grow and flourish as a
human being and member of society
when we are far apart I wish she could be right next to me
my sweet and beautiful little melody
craving for her soft kisses and excitement
silk duvets and ice cream sandwiches
it’s like layers in our story but every single day it’s worth it
so many pages in our story that I want to re-read every single day because I’m so enamored by the way she is
how she scrunched her nose when she’s sleeping
how she’s so carefree and loving
how she embraces every stranger though she thinks she’s shy she’s one of the most social people
I want to read every single one of her pages
no matter if I’m halfway
across the nation, I want to read her pages I want to support her on her worse days and be her rock or even bring in some humor and be her Patrick Star when
all things go wrong at the end of the day I’ll sit with her and say “baby it’s okay that we didn’t have the best day but I promise that tomorrow is another day”
it’s okay to be happy one day and sad the next
it’s okay to feel like you don’t want to get out of bed one day and feel like you’re on cloud 9 the next day
but for tonight you’re going to be mine
singing our favorite songs that you introduced to me
how I dream of holding you close to me and slow dancing with the kitchen light just the way that you’ve always wanted
how I dreamt of all that and now I have the world in front of me
even when my world is going out of control I know that you will be there to hold me if I ever fall and when I feel like I don’t want to see another day
sometimes I battle with thoughts that get the best of me sometimes
but I try my best to do the best that I can to stay afloat even though sometimes I would like to drift off into my own raft and be on my own
but you seem to understand my silence better than anyone
the thought of you leaving my life someday leaves me crying but you let me feel my emotions and let me be my true self
even when I want to go my own way I know that you’ll pull me aside and sit me down and help me at the end of the day
you help me see the light at the end of the tunnel
shining like a galaxy and you’re my favorite star
I’m thankful for all that you do for me and for how you are there
I’m thankful for all the memories and for you holding me when I contemplated the light at the end of the tunnel and understanding my faith
I just wanted to say thank you for being mine in this lifetime

I’m glad we finally met in this one just like we did the last time
my only
you keep my secrets on your lips
dripping like honey whenever you talk to me
my sweet melody like a song
my dreams turning to a reality
with your hand in mine
as we walk through time, so divine
protecting me from the world
shielding me with your words
holding me forever and ever
let me go free in your mind while I do my own dance
spinning around and round
a whirlwind romance
through phone screens to real life
honey, you’re mine through phone screens via facetime
girl, I knew you’ve got to be mine
in this lifetime and next
I’ll protect you from the rest
rock you to sleep on your darkest days
play in the sand when we want an escapade
rock you to sleep and hold you tight next to me
you’re my baby and my sweetheart
I promise we are right where we are supposed to be

Overachiever Magazine was started by Rehana Paul in October of 2018 to give a platform to all Asian women, non-binary people, and other gender minorities.

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