As part of the January I Issue, we are featuring a piece by Divya Chhotani.
Artist’s note: “unrequited love is something that many people face behind closed doors. the feeling of walking next to someone you love and the giddy feeling you get when you’re around them and surrounded by their contagious energy yet the dread you feel when you see them talking to someone else. these feelings that rush through your body whenever you see someone that you like but once you’re behind closed doors you let it all out on your pillowcase and your tears show your true feelings that your words can’t even begin to describe. this poem is for those who may be in love with someone who doesn’t know they exist or you may be hiding your feelings from them. i’ve been in this same position countless times but what helped get me through this was journaling my feelings away or even just “shooting my shot” as they say these days. you’re so valid and your feelings matter. if you feel comfortable telling them your feelings i hope they are receptive but if you’re scared and apprehensive hopefully this poem can relate to you and be your “inner anthem” during this time. remember someone out there in this world will love you even the parts you’re afraid of and will embrace your flaws. you are so loved and i know that things will look brighter soon.”
searching for clues
i’m struggling to spit out the words you’ve been dying to hear
the words that lovers gobble up and misconstrue and break
i’m struggling to say three words to you because i know how it feels to be broken in two
to have lost my sense of purpose and direction
my pillowcase knowing my story better than anyone ever will
the three words you’re dying to hear is something that makes me cry
gives me butterflies yet i’m scared
our relationships evolve like caterpillars to butterflies
the honeymoon phase is the cocoon stage
where everything is flowing is solid motion
my love for you not wavering
no earthquake in my throat yet
i’m afraid that once our relationship gets to that butterfly stage you’ll feel like all of me is already laid out on the table
you’d get bored of me and toss me to the side
that the words i love you will lose its meaning
that maybe i’m not good enough for you
i’m trying to convince myself that it wouldn’t happen
that you are in love with another with someone that jumps from person to person
i’m trying to convince myself that you aren’t for me because someone like you can’t be with someone like me
i’m broken trying to figure out who we could be
you’re like a safety net that catches me in my darkest times when i fall down
hearing my bickering and dealing with my nagging
you’re the most beautiful butterfly out there
soaring like a bird
intricate lil beauty
i’m trying to convince myself that i’m the one for you
that you don’t need anyone else
i’m trying to be the best for you
to see that smile at the end of the day
to have you laughing on the daily
i hope you don’t get bored of me
i hope you don’t get bored of me
i just want you to grow with me
explore with me
be like curious george and explore the knicks and crannies of everywhere we go
Overachiever Magazine was started by Rehana Paul in October of 2018 to give a platform to all Asian women, non-binary people, and other gender minorities.
Our name is poking fun at the stereotype that all Asians are overachievers, especially Asian women, non-binary people, and other gender minorities. It’s also in recognition of all of us who have had no choice but to be overachievers: managing societal expectations, family obligations, and educational opportunities, all while fighting the patriarchy.
We have grown since then, putting out bimonthly issues (we are contributor powered: apply to write for our next one!), and weekly reviews of culture, and news that is important to us.
You can find announcements, more news, and get to know our staff on social media: give us a follow, and learn how you can get involved today!
We do not claim to speak for all Asian women, non-binary people, and other gender minorities. We are just here to give them a place to speak for themselves.