The older I get, the more I think about death, how finite and fragile humanity is, and how I constantly feel like time is running out.

2020 Morning Routine of a Redundant Zillennial British East Asian

06:00 – Wake up from thud of stock market crash. Dramatically lay in bed for the next half an hour, thinking about mortgage rates.

06:30 – Alexa, play “stay woke” by Childish Gambino [lo-fi animal crossing remix, featuring X Æ A-12] to get yourself in a *~~big mood~~*. Immerse oneself in £199/month online self- actualisation and hedonism training course.

07:30 – Look into cracked mirror and set mantra for the day. Repeat to self 3 times: “The model minority myth has always been a convenient tactic to pretend that racism doesn’t exist.” Repeat this louder so your Chinese ancestors can hear you. Ecstatically punch fist into air.

07:35 – Take a shower and commence 10-step Korean skincare routine.

08:00 – Check up on secret toilet paper stock under bed in preparation for a second wave. Do a chef’s kiss for being a well-prepared pandemic queen.

08:05 – Take 1 optimised organic vegan protein supplement with 3 cups of celery juice. Continue with intermittent fast to maximise brain productivity and metaphysical consciousness. Eat half an almond if feeling extra naughty.

08:30 – Before the rise of middle-aged white men, take a brisk 10-minute walk whilst using overdraft bank statement as a face mask. Hold coughs and sneezes at all costs.

08:40 – Turn on notifications for extended family WeChat group. Scan through non-fact checked Chinese health tips and savage Aunties. Take 5 deep breaths to avoid stress and premature aging.

08:45 – Liquidate the landlord class, police, and other reactionary elements. 

09:30 – Delete all wannabe empathy emails from capitalistic organisations. Laugh hysterically in the same room as your Macbook Pro and Amazon cardboard boxes.

10:00 – Continue with daily job search whilst streaming young millionaire Youtubers discuss their 6 income streams and pet micropigs. Shift mindset to immigrant parents to humbly motivate oneself. Eat other half of almond.

11:00 – Give up on employment to be extra quirky.

11:30 – Temporarily unplug from the matrix and wash hands. 

12:00 – Lunch!

Overachiever Magazine was started by Rehana Paul in October of 2018 to give a platform to all Asian women, non-binary people, and other gender minorities.

Our name is poking fun at the stereotype that all Asians are overachievers, especially Asian women, non-binary people, and other gender minorities. It’s also in recognition of all of us who have had no choice but to be overachievers: managing societal expectations, family obligations, and educational opportunities, all while fighting the patriarchy.

We have grown since then, putting out bimonthly issues (we are contributor powered: apply to write for our next one!), and weekly reviews of culture, and news that is important to us.

You can find announcements, more news, and get to know our staff on social media: give us a follow, and learn how you can get involved today!

We do not claim to speak for all Asian women, non-binary people, and other gender minorities. We are just here to give them a place to speak for themselves.

We hope you’ll join us.

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